Ducks Are Cute

hamburgerhelpless:

when i first heard of shark weak i thought no. impossible. no such thing. shark strong

birdpear:

depression is like trying to peel a potato with another potato its not fun it doesnt work and you just wanna cry

fag-nificent:

theyellowbrickroad:

stop quoting mean girls 2004 is over

you don’t even go here

louitsgottabeyou:

Remember when Troy didn’t want any of his friends to know he liked to sing so he broke into a song in the middle of their practice? 

yourpetdog:

yourpetdog:

what if i ordered pizza in the middle of the hurricane.

they yelled at me.

blaqkwidow:

i hate when applications are like “why do you want to work here”

because i need money

what do you want me to say omfg

I HAVE A PASSION FOR FROZEN YOGURT

bekn:

jesus i love collabrakadabra 

****Jesus: “I love Collabrakadabra!”

do you ever go into a book store and just find all of your favourite author’s books even though you already have them and you just hover in that general area for a while

oldrowley:

somethingdespicable:

reblog if you are a true 1300’s kid 

hha peasant for life scribe it

omg you can’t call yourself a 1340s kid if you were born in 1348

you don’t even remember the plague, god.

subject13fringe:

montypythonandtheholyblog:

today I learned that if you want to slash someone’s tires, don’t slash all four; only slash three because if you slash all four their insurance will pay for it but if you only slash three they have to pay for it all out of pocket 

❤

I was folding laundry and didn’t know if a shirt was mine or my little sister’s and omg she’s getting so big creys when did this happen and why do I care does this mean I’m getting old because I’m all nostalgic about when she was A STUPID LITTLE BABY THAT THREW UP ON EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME AND NOW SHE’S AN 11 YEAR OLD THAT THROWS UP ON EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME WHY DO I HAVE FEELS RIGHT NOW THIS ISN’T AN EPISODE OF SHERLOCK HANNAH GET YOURSELF TOGETHER AND FOCUS ON FICTIONAL CHARACTERS okay I’m over it pardon me *sips tea*

funwithyoutubers:

aleetlepinch:

I hear the final test for becoming a Master Pickpocket is to switch places with a baby kangaroo.

connuh:

baby you light up my world like nobody else

cosmo-sex-tips:

When he says ” Who’s your daddy” say your actual father’s name.

aleetlepinch:

One two three four, I declare a thumb war!

*EXPLOSIONS. DEATH. THUMB CIVILIANS HUNG FROM LAMPPOSTS*

verityveritas:

Apparently there are these people who eat when they are hungry and stop when they are full. 

adamusprime:

SOMEONE ON TUMBLR DISAGREES WITH MITT ROMNEY; WORLD STUNNED

peteratthedisco:

There is an old lady called “Nine out of ten dentists” and she is being held hostage and forced to recommend things

dilemmemily:

one time we got a new kid in fifth grade and he walks right in and sticks his hand under the stapler and staples his hand and just looks at the teacher and goes “I’m going to the nurse” and leaves

maaaatthew:

stepping on a snail makes me feel guilty for days i don’t know how i’d cope with murdering an actual person

blogsaretough:

did you know that running is something some people do on purpose

h0odrich:

if people see you 20% more attractive than you see yourself everyone must think i’m 120% hot